My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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