P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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