Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of course I have a pirate flag
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
