then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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