I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
