did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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