I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
