but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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