Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Found your dick twin last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
