Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
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My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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