He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
