dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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