you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
