so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize