we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
third nipple confirmed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
