Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
