i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
where are you?
Hypothermia
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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