Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
