How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize