Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
