She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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