Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
how does that bad decision feel?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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