So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
