he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
