i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
