He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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