I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
