I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
