is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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