Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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