So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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