bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
did i just pee glitter
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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