How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize