In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
