The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
