Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
