where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
