I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
