I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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