Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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