Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
