Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
