How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
