Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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