I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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