turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
