I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
