yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
