..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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