i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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