oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize