i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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