i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
