Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
