And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
