That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize