problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
