So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
