im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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