he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
