Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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