Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
