I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize