nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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