I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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