ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
