You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
kristin has been a bad kristin
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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