your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
